Forlorn Gazing Out Window Reaches Record Highs

During the COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent quarantining period, experts report that the act of forlorn window gazing has reached an all-time high throughout the country.


“What we’re seeing here is an atypical confluence of forlorn window gazing catalysts,” explains Dr. Georgia Wendon. “Being stuck inside, questioning everything, and longing for a future that may never come are all contributing factors, and they seem to be working in concert.”


“Of course, people window gaze for various reasons,” Dr. Wendon adds. “They may be recalling a past lover, mourning the innocence of childhood, or even attempting to create their own ‘when will my husband return from war’ meme, but whatever the cause, they all comprise one undeniable statistic: Forlorn gazing is through the roof.”



While a gradual reopening of the economy could ease this unprecedented spike in people standing by their window, hand rested tentatively upon the glass, looking out into all that is unknown, there is some concern that the numbers have grown irreversible.


“At this point in time, even in the unlikely event that forlorn gazing out of windows drops to zero following the end of quarantining practices, the numbers from this past month alone are such that if an intelligent alien species studied our population centuries from now, this activity would rank high among what human beings do with their time,” explains Dr. Wendon.


The worse part for Dr. Wendon? The unavoidability of it all.


“The whole phenomenon is so big, conceptual, and overwhelming,” she says, “that all I really want to do is gaze out a window about it.”