Earlier this week, archaeologists exhumed the remains of iconic Mexican painter Frida Kahlo and confirmed that even she wasn’t wearing the right bra size.
“We performed the exhumation specifically looking for evidence that she had been wearing the correctly sized bra,” says lead archaeologist Mary Karr. “A lot of her neighbors claimed she had the posture of someone who knows what they’re doing bra-wise, but the results of our exhumation suggest the opposite.”
That’s right: Frida Kahlo spent her entire life wearing the wrong bra size, just like nearly 100% of all women today.
“We hope young women from every walk of life see that they’re not the only ones wearing the incorrect bra size,” says project manager Alexis Bauer. “After unearthing the desiccated remains of Frida Kahlo, we can say with total certainty she should have been wearing a 34B and not a 32DD. Can you believe it? Frida Kahlo!”
The National Council of Archeologists expressed excitement at the idea of Frida Kahlo not knowing what bra size she was, claiming it as proof no woman from any time period actually knew how to support her boobs.
“It’s incredible how even legendary artists who are dead didn’t know their bra size while alive,” says Karr. “That’s what we learned from this extensive archaeological project in which we dredged up the decades-old body of a celebrated artist.”
Karr and her team of archeologists then took Kahlo’s bra size with measuring tape. They first measured her underbust to get her proper band measurement, then measured her bust and scientifically adjusted for 60 years of shrinkage to get her cup measurement
“It’s incredible that Frida spent so much time painting when she could have been getting her bra size properly measured,” says Bauer. “Frida painted hundreds, if not thousands of pictures, but never once took the time to check why her bra band was riding up in the back? It just doesn’t make sense, but at least now we have the evidence to say she was definitely making a huge mistake when it comes to this important issue.”
At the conclusion of the interview, Karr and her team announced their intention to dig up the revolutionary Mercy Otis Warren to see if she was using the right shade of foundation.