E-Cigarette Company Launches New E-Birth Control

Due to the popularity of their E-Cigarette line, Blu E-Cigs have announced that they will launch a new brand of birth control called the “E-Pill.” E-Pill is designed to mimic the effects of a traditional birth control pill by having women inhale a vapor that stops the body from ovulating.


“Women are tired of feeling guilty and embarrassed every time they want to take their pill. With E-Pill, you don’t have to worry about leaving an airport to take your pill outside. You can take E-Pill with you, anywhere, anytime.” says Stephen Daniels, a spokesperson for the E-Pill.


Although not currently approved for use by the FDA, the makers of E-Pill claim it is safer on the body than other oral contraceptives because the hormones are absorbed directly into the blood stream through the lungs without the use of added fillers. “Traditional Oral Contraceptives have harmful fillers like arsenic and fiberglass,” says E-Pill President Sid Cheriton. “E-Pill is just water vapor and all natural hormones…and it tastes good too!”



Some critics aren’t as convinced of the supposed health benefits: “If someone is smoking around me, that means I’m also inhaling their birth control.” says Tammi Kelly of Nebraska. “I’ve been trying to have kids for three years.”


But Gretchen Ventura of Islip, New York loves the new product: “I used to get embarrassed when I was the only one pulling birth control out of my purse. Now I just take a little puff and I’m good to have unprotected sex for the rest of the month!”


Hoping to reach out to the millennial market, E-Pill is being aggressively marketed in bars and clubs around metropolitan centers and comes in three flavors, including Tobacco, Weed, and Bubble Gum Jell-O Shot.