Dear Disney: Why Is There No Property Brothers Ride?

This month I had the pleasure of finally visiting Disney World with my family. The trip was a pleasure for my children – they got to interact with Mickey Mouse, Elsa, Chewbacca, and all their favorite characters. They got to watch The Country Bear Jamboree, ride the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, and experience Toy Story Mania.


But with all our cultural icons present at the parks, I had to ask myself: “Where is the Property Brothers ride? Why is the Walt Disney Company permitting this glaring omission?”


We all know The Property Brothers is up there in with Indiana Jones and The Little Mermaid in our collective cultural consciousness and a critical part of the Disney universe. Drew and Jonathan are like real-life Canadian metrosexual Disney princes who happen to know how both scout and renovate properties. Disney has parks as frivolous as the Animal Kingdom, so why not a park dedicated solely to flipping houses so the Property Brothers can have their awesome ride?



When will Disney break their silence on this glaring omission from their brand?


Some people have responded to my criticism by saying that “Disney doesn’t even own the rights to The Property Brothers.” But I’m not buying that. Since when has that stopped Disney? They bought all of Marvel and its 5,000 characters in 2009. I heard they just took over Hulu, too. Surely they can snatch up an HGTV show where two nearly identical tall men transform humble fixer-uppers into beautiful, modern homes. Surely, they can make a ride out of knocking down a wall and turning a kitchen and living room into an open floor plan. Now that’s my kind of fun!


Some people don’t realize Drew and Jonathan are both black belts in karate and that they’ve also recorded a country song. Those could easily be plot points in the ride. There’s not much these guys can’t do.


At the very least Disney should give The Property Brothers a chance at this. The ride would not disappoint. I’d be there, waiting in line on day one.