When it comes to things that are hard, two things come to mind: driving and going after what you want in life. Making a left-hand turn at a busy intersection is one of the surest ways to show people you have no chill behind the wheel, especially if you never actually end up making that turn. Nobody likes a try-hard! Here are some surefire ways to demonstrate to your fellow drivers that you don’t give a shit about that left-hand turn.
Don’t use your turn signal.
Do you use your turn signal when you want to make a turn? Rookie mistake! Using your signals lets everyone around you know what your intentions are—the thirst is real! If you broadcast your “I want to go that way because that’s where Homegoods is” vibes, everyone will think you’re some kind of desperate psycho who wants to go to Homegoods. Instead, don’t flick that bar; now you’re just hanging out in the middle of the intersection to feel the rush of traffic coming from either directions shake you to your very core, obviously.
Make an exaggerated shrug.
A theatrical shrug is the universal driving signal for not having wanted it that badly in the first place. It’s a great way to show the line of SUVs that keeps cutting you off that you’re content to stay at that light all day long. Just take your hands off the wheel—only for a second or two!—and shrug in a wild symbolic gesture of not giving a fuck. Ideally, extend your arm out of the window so that everyone can see; just keep an eye out for oncoming traffic, crazy. You know what you’re doing!
Scream, “I just remembered, I have to do something over here to the right!”
This tactic is just like saying, “Oh wait, nevermind!” when you realize you’re walking the wrong way in order to convince your fellow pedestrians that you aren’t a screwup; you just have important business in the opposite direction. It’s important to let your fellow drivers know that your change of heart is not inherent wimpiness, but actually a cool plan you just remembered. Just be prepared to really floor it in order to penetrate the cars of those around you.
Fake a breakdown.
You’re stuck in the middle of an intersection with nowhere to turn, but what if you’re actually stuck because your emergency brake suddenly sprung into action or you got stuck in the wrong gear or…other car stuff? Simply get out of you car, pop the hood, and wave your arms around as if to say, “My car is the broken thing here, not me!” The key thing here is that the breakdown is not your fault in the eyes of others. Vroom, vroom!
So now you know how to stick to the two requirements of driving: hurtle through space in a heavy metal trap at impossible speeds and never let them see you sweat!
