BREAKING: Coworker Had a Dog This Whole Time

In a developing story out of Tucson, it was just revealed to the office that Shane O’Hara’s coworker has had a dog this whole time.


“I’m still in disbelief,” said Shane. “I was just walking past Jenny’s desk when I saw a picture of a mid-sized dog on her desktop. I was like, ‘Violet, is that your dog?’ and she was like, ‘Yeah,’ and that’s when everything changed.”


Shane, who has been working alongside Violet Truong for two years, was shocked to discover that the adorable pit/golden mix of Violet’s background had in fact been in her possession the entire time they have known each other.


“I immediately started playing back every interaction I’ve had with Violet in my head, looking for indications that she’s had a dog all this time,” said Shane. “It was like the end of The Sixth Sense, but with no past clues so actually not like The Sixth Sense, mostly.”


“I just can’t understand,” Shane added. “If I had a dog I would talk about it all the time. “My mom has a dog in Seattle and I still talk about her like she’s mine, and a lot.”


Once Shane was in the know, news of the dog ownership spread through the office fast.


“Violet has a dog?” said another coworker, Oxanna Brown. “Why is she here? If I had a dog, I would be home right now with my dog. I don’t know how, but I’d make it work.”


The discovery has been met by differing yet uniformly strong reactions including euphoria, envy, and even suspicion.


“Why would she lie to us, one wonders,” said Shane. “Is there some sort of dark secret? Or is their bond just so strong and pure that it transcends both language and any need for external validation or witness? One thing is for sure, and that’s that I see her totally differently now.”



Work is as good as called off for the remainder of the day while a majority of the office scrambles to make first time outside-of-work plans with Violet and possibly secure the coveted dog sitter position.


“The real reason I don’t talk about Charlie at work is because I don’t really like any of my coworkers,” said Violet. “I’m going to go home and hangout with my dog and my wife now. Oh yeah, I’m also married.”