In an unprecedented decision, Jeremy Cartwright decided to avoid making an inappropriate joke among friends, but instead loudly announced his decision not to tell the inappropriate joke in question.
Cartwright, his girlfriend Lauren, his best friend Dom, and a few other friends were all hanging out at his apartment on Sunday night when the conversation turned to smoking. One of the women present mentioned her preference for cigars over cigarettes, causing Cartwright to burst out laughing.
“You ladies don’t want to know the joke that just occurred to me,” he said, with a wink. The ladies present, to Cartwright’s obvious disappointment, did not press him on the issue.
Cartwright went on to tell his bro Dom that he would tell him the joke later, making the women surrounding them feel like valued equals.
“I have a really dirty mouth, but my mind is even filthier,” explained the martyr Cartwright. “I’m a gentleman, so I can’t say whatever pops into my head, no matter how awesome it is. Certain things aren’t appropriate for women’s ears, but what can I do? Your mind just goes there.”
In this monumental moment, Cartwright sacrificed many accolades – a high five from his friend, uncomfortable fidgeting from everyone else, a “Fuck you, Jeremy, this is exactly what I was talking about last night” from his girlfriend – in exchange for grinding the conversation to a halt. A truly inspiring choice!
“I usually just say whatever my first thought is,” explained Cartwright’s boy, Dom. “So I think it’s really great what Jeremy did there, but I also can’t wait to hear what the joke was.”
“We all know what the joke was,” said Laura. “It was his penis. It’s never not about his penis.”
Will Cartwright follow up his noble act of self-sacrifice with the greatest sacrifice of all: not mentioning that he had a gross joke in mind in the first place and just letting the conversation continue without him at its center?
“Probably not,” says Laura.
As for the woman who made the unintentionally hilarious comment that started it all? She’s now added cigars to her list of slightly suggestive things she can never casually mention around guys.