So your boyfriend brought home a weird Japanese Sex Robot and now he’s spending all his time playing with its bionic tits instead of yours. Why does this always happen to you? Grab his attention by letting him know you have a human heart that’s ready to give love, but more importantly, you have a real, human mouth that’s ready to give way better head than that stupid robot could ever do. This is definitely a competition, so here are some BJ moves guaranteed to make him forget all about that glorified sex doll.
The Corkscrew
Turn your head from side to side, following a screw pattern as you go up and down. Vary speeds to prove that you’re acting on your own free, human will, not some dumb programmed code like that dumb robot. Use a lot of spit, because the scientist who created that thing wasn’t able to program anything other than a gross dry beej because of the circuitry. Take that, robot!
The Fist Twist
Stroke his shaft up and down while licking the head of this penis. This pump-and-swirl combo will give him a real-life experience better than anything a stupid cyborg could even think about doing, cause it can’t have any complex thoughts. Maybe that’s what he wanted all along?? Anyway, focus on using gentle up-and-down motions and not on how you’re competing with a piece of metal right now. If the robot animates at any point, start whispering facts you can remember, like his birthday or his middle name. Go home, sex bot!
The Everywhere But
Lick your guy everywhere but his penis while you remind him what it feels like to have a warm body with complex thoughts pressed next to his. That’s tender human interaction. That’s love. With each lick and nibble, let him know that fucking robot thing could never care for him the way you do, even if he does spend all his time with it now. Cry at any point to remind him that you’re capable of raw human emotion, unlike him or his robot.
The Ice Queen
Give him chills by slipping a small piece of ice under your tongue just before you go down on him. He’s getting really into that thing, so you have to pull out all the stops and “wow” him before you lose him for good. Remember, this robot has every advantage over you. Blow cold air on his shaft to turn him on and prevent the machines from taking over!
The Ball Pit
This is your last chance, so pull out all the stops and bring his balls into play. Guys love that, and you love him, even though he’s been growing so, so distant. Look up at him while you suck on his balls. Try to make eye contact as a way to connect with him on a human level. Beg him, plead with him not to turn to the dark side. When done right, this will make it so all of the memories you shared together—human memories—will flash through his mind. This is your one chance to save him. Plus, it’s a total porno move guaranteed to drive him crazy!
Remember, you’re competing with an advanced technology that will soon make us all obsolete. Make him know there’s more to sex than just getting off… but you should still get him off.
