Blankets You Can Just Fucking Die In

Here’s a breezy-ass beach blanket that’s easy to carry and even easier to fucking wash. Perfect for that hot motherfucking beach, you can lie on this fucking blanket for hours while that motherfucker The Sun burns your sensitive skin. Lie there with bricks tied to your ankles until the high tide rolls in and you fucking drown on top of that paper-thin cotton bitch. Get enveloped by that salty-as-fuck water and sink to the bottom of the ocean, you fuck.