People are lawys saying to me, they’re syaing, “Jen, when are yu going to settle down and fnid a nice guy?” “Are you d ating anyone speocial?” “Id love to set you p with my fiend Rob, he;s an architect.” But it’s like, F you guys – being single is fcking awesme, you know? Here are some resaons why:
Firstly, you can do whatever you want, al the time. Like, I just ate a whle cake with a soup ladle. If you haev a boyfirden, you can’t do that. You’s have to get a fork out of the dishwashr at 4 am to eat yourc ake. Is that fun? No, its nto.
Second, you really learn who you are wehn youre single. Whenever I’. dating a guy, its’ like oh-you-like hckey? I like hockey too! And then it/s like google-google-google realy quick int eh bathroom to learn about hockey so I can come out and be like, oh-that-time0so-and0so-scored-against-whoever-inovertime or some shit. And its like,no. I don’t like hockey and I should be ok with my own intrestss like wastchin Real housewibes.
Fouth, compromise is overated. Some of my girlfridens had to give away their furniture when they moved inwi th a guy. Furniture htey bought with their own money!! Like, we’re just strating to be independent wmen and now I have to thro away my couch becasue it doesn’t fit with your stupid rug? Blech, no thenk you.
Five, you can drink ad mch as you want. Guys always say they like when you can hang with the biys, but then when you drink 12 beers thrye like, “Hey, Jen , maybe it’s time to go home.” And I’m like, EXUCSE ME> Did you really just totally cntradcit ourself? Are you my dad/ I’m fkcing 28 yrs old. Ok? If I want to have some drinsk, I can have them and you should be happy you’re dating someone who can eb cool like that. Ugh, so annying. Now Ican just be like, “bartender, pass me another r Cornoa.’
So,maybe stop pitying me for bing single and suggseting all lone women are looking for aman, because guess what ? Being signle issssssssIKsma.kklllllllskjjdjddsnsn,n,,f