Aw! These Friends Graduated College And All Went On To Gentrify The Same Neighborhood

In a true testament to the lasting power of friendship, this close-knit group of college grads has stuck together long after graduation to gentrify the same neighborhood in Brooklyn.


Aww! What a testament to friendship and structural oppression!


After earning their respective degrees from Vassar College, best friends Carly Tibbets, Brandon McNally, and Shannon Devries transitioned seamlessly from the liberal arts classroom to a cushy, three-bedroom apartment in Bushwick that serves as the home base for their coordinated contributions to the gentrification epidemic.


“A lot of people get sad about graduating because it means moving away from their friends,” Tibbets explained as she sipped a cold brew from a new vegan café down the street. “But instead of moving to various neighborhoods that are slowly being edged toward middle-class standards of living, we stuck together and all decided to gentrify the same area.”


“Now I can passively watch rent prices rise at alarming rates in the company of my best friends! This is the life.”



Recalling the decision to move in with his best friends, McNally stated that, if faced with the choice again, he wouldn’t have done anything differently.


“Why scatter across the country when you can take your social group from the elite university you attended and transfer it straight to a neighborhood that’s slowly becoming too expensive for the families that have lived there for generations?” McNally mused, relaxing in the chic common room of the friends’ sprawling apartment. “It was a no-brainer!”


“Once we all have real jobs and steady incomes, we’re planning to relocate to a larger apartment in an equally-gentrified area. Ideally with exposed brick.”