We’ve all been there—one minute you’re thinking about how perfect Dame Judi Dench is, and the next, you’re waking up from a full rage blackout. Sure, you have no memory of what happened during this time, but if anyone’s worth it, it’s Dame Judi! Here are a few classic examples of times The Denchster was so perfect it made your mind dark with fury:
Her performance as Queen Elizabeth I in Shakespeare in Love.
Her characterization was so subtle and empathetic that you can’t remember the past four-and-a-half minutes and don’t know where you got that carving fork.
That time a film director told her she had “every single thing wrong with her face.”
She didn’t let it get to her! Just like you didn’t let it get to you when you came to, standing in your husband’s office at midnight, emptying the shredder into the water cooler. Love you, Judes!
That time she got Harvey Weinstein’s name faux-tattooed on her behind to show her gratitude for his support.
HOW is she so perfect? We might never know, just like how we might never know how you got into your ex-boyfriend’s parents’ bedroom, foaming at the mouth and holding a two box cutters. Judi is queen!
The time she went to school with Vanessa Redgrave.
JD and VR?! This is so perfect it makes you angrier than that time you found yourself leaving Supercuts with a full-on buzz cut—which, now that you think of it, happened right after you learned about this. Oh, Judi, you are an inspiration to us all!
The time she sang “Send In The Clowns” for Stephen Sondheim’s 80th birthday.
And you thought it was impossible to love her more! Just like how it is impossible to prove that you were the last one to see Jana the night she disappeared. Marry me, Judi!
The time she hung out with the Queen and Dame Maggie Smith.
This is so incredibly cool you barely even blinked an eye when you suddenly realized you were driving an empty Greyhound bus to Sparta, Wisconsin while fully nude. If only that bus hadn’t been empty and was instead full of rows and rows of Judi Denches! Sigh.
The seven times she was nominated for an Academy Award.
There’s no denying how perfect Dame Judi Dench is—just like how there’s no denying that that’s you in the security footage, opening all the kennels at Pam-Purrrred Pets and shouting, “RUN.” It’s what the Dame would want.
Let’s face it—Dame Judi Dench is so perfect, it hurts. And so will you, if you ever find out anything cool about her while you’re driving.
