Kate Moss once famously said, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” right before passing out under the weight of her own skull. But sometimes, supermodels can be wrong. Here are the foods that Kate Moss must not have tried before she said that:
Cheeseburgers with Toasted Buns and Cheese on Both Sides
When you find that special establishment that treats its burgers with respect, you’re on top of the world. That feeling can easily take up the space in your heart that appreciates visible collarbones.
Foods Filled with Other Foods
Chicken filled with ham and cheese. Pretzels filled with peanut butter. Twinkies filled with Milky Ways. All of these frankenfoods feel just like seeing a picture of your back without bra fat.
A Cake That You Won
Maybe you won it in a cakewalk, or maybe you won it in some other competition that awards you with a fluffy, iced happiness cylinder. Either way, it’s exactly the same emotion as being able to sit down in your skinny jeans without having to adjust your belt.
Quadruple Stuf Oreos
It’s that thing where you open up two Double Stufs and smoosh the icing sides together to create one big delicious monstrosity. Fill your body with a few of these, and the explosions of dopamine in your brain will cause you to forget what the term “thigh gap” means.
McDonalds at 4AM
If you’ve never lived in a college dorm across the street from a 24-hour Mickey D’s, let us paint you a picture. Just imagine not having to ask to retake a group picture so you can stand at a more flattering angle, because you’re hot from all sides. That’s what a quarter pounder with cheese in the wee hours will do to your mouth.
“Add Bacon – $1.50”
It’s the best item on any menu. Go for it. You deserve it just as much as you deserve to be able to borrow your 14-year-old niece’s swimsuit at a Fourth of July pool party.
A Vat of Dark Chocolate Next to a Vat of Peanut Butter
Imagine the dunking possibilities! Dunk a cookie in the chocolate, then the peanut butter. Or maybe the peanut butter, then chocolate. Or maybe dunk your whole body in both and just be there in that moment. That’s exactly what it feels like to have core strength.
Certainly not all foods are worth their weight in calories. The leftover cookies that your mom brought home after the office party definitely don’t make the grade. But as long as double-chocolate s’mores with a crisp-but-not-burnt marshmallow exist, there will always be plenty of foods that taste just as good as skinny feels.
