60% of Americans Say They’re Ready For a Female Jesus

America may finally be ready for a woman to take on the challenging, traditionally male role of Jesus.


In a recent Gallup poll, 60 percent of American adults either agreed or strongly agreed with the statement “I would be willing to accept a female Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.”


Comparatively, only 20 percent of adults said the same of a homosexual Santa Claus.


Don’t expect to see a Lady Jesus in your church anytime soon, though. After all the position of “Son of God” has held exclusively by men for approximately 20 centuries. Still, this recent poll suggests that a rising wave of feminist sentiment in America could finally shatter the Savior glass ceiling.


Cindy Graham, a Twitter activist who popularized the hashtag #ShesusChrist, certainly hopes so. In one tweet to followers of the movement, she proclaimed that, “We demand to see a girl on the crucifix.” Her passion was echoed by Marsha Wells, self-published author on feminism and religious theory, who says, “For too long, Jesus has been an old (dead) boy’s club – despite the fact that women are way more familiar with sacrifice. Curing sick people? Dying to cleanse others of their sins? These are things women do every day. A woman deserves a place on that cross.”



One priest, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted that a male Jesus “never made much sense” to him anyway, because “turning the other cheek is kind of a girly move.”


Still, not everyone is all gung ho about the idea of a Ms. JC. Conservative talk radio host, Earl “Mad Dog” Farland, asks “How you expect some chick to turn water into wine? That girl would have to have crazy daddy issues.”


There’s also growing concern amongst many churchgoers that a woman might look “obscene” or “ugly” hanging from a cross. “Sagging breasts” and “dry skin” are expected to warrant criticism of a female Jesus.


These worries aside, many women remain confident that they’ll see a female Jesus in their lifetime. As one female CEO declared in a speech at last week’s #ShesusWalks protest march: “I don’t need some man to die for my sins!”