Sometimes when you’re sitting alone in your apartment, gazing into the night sky and asking the deep and dark abyss what you’re missing out on, there’s only one answer: A music festival! Night after night the wind whispers soft, comforting aura of its many mysteries. So here is a comprehensive list of the best things about music festivals that the wind whispered to us upon a summer’s eve and sunk deep, deep into our hungry souls.
Kendrick, Solange, and Red Hot Chili Peppers All In One Place!
Only the wind truly knows: Your music taste is like totally random, which is why festivals are so perfect for your aching need to feel the breath of existence upon your skin. It’s like your ultimate summer playlist, which is super fun and totally all over the place. “But get this,” the breeze sings into your ears, “It’s all live.”
You Can Wear All Your Costume Accessories At Once
What’s that you say, wind? Is it that music festivals are a chance to dip your whole body in glitter and wear nothing but a denim diaper and some nipple pasties? That’s what I thought! Festivals are an excuse to show your wild child side, which means you can get more use out of a bunch of different random costumes from past Halloween’s and make a totes crazy ensemble that makes your body ache for more, more of that feeling that you’ve yearned for, and also really shows off your abs.
You Can Get Mad High
The trees scream out to me: smoke me! smoke me!
Explore Uncharted Lands
A desert? A forest? Festivals allow you to commune with nature like no other experience. Join me, cries the night sky, enter my weary bosom and also see Drake.
But Like Really, Be Outside Without Really Being Outside
The trees, the grass, the sun on your skin; being outdoors is the best thing in the world! But festivals bring the convenience of the indoors outside, so you can have all of your needs met. “I understand,” says the wind upon your face. “The balance in your life has gone adrift, and you can only find it again in this sacred place with plenty of alcoholic beverages available.”
You Are Better Than Allison
The wind reminds you that no, Allison didn’t go to the music festival. But you did. Alas. Even the wind is kind of a bitch, but even she knows it’s nice to just feel like you finally have something Allison doesn’t, something deep inside you that she can never, ever touch. “You win,” the wind whispers as you spill another beer on a stranger.
Ah, how I long to visit a music festival one day. For now, I will listen to the night howls of the wind!
