After days of begging Greg to undump you, you’re pretty sure he’s “thinking about” getting back together. Take this time to embrace your independence; at least until he gives you an answer, then you can finally be dependent again. Get off the couch and use this time to become a better person, sort of! You’ll spend less time crying AND he’ll see that you’re really worth it!
Reduce your carbon footprint and look adorable while doing it.
Just because Greg was incapable of not-cheating doesn’t mean you can’t win him back. Leave the car in the garage and ride a darling vintage bike to get to the farmer’s market, while wearing an impractical yet adorable upcycled dress from Etsy. Instagram the heck out of your ethical style adventures, and Greg will be sure to fall in love with the quirky eco-goddess you’ve become since he left you 24 hours ago.
Adopt a three-legged dog.
Greg’s been posting pictures of people you don’t know—even girl-people! This is your chance to really do some good by giving a forever home to a furry friend who has some imperfections. But also, who can really resist a sad old three-legged dog, or more importantly, its big-hearted owner? Certainly not Greg, who will surely want to come over and play with Blackbeard ASAP, and then never leave again. The best part of this is that you can always “lose” that difficult-to-care-for animal as soon as Greg comes back.
Volunteer with the elderly.
Become a volunteer visitor to an isolated older woman while Greg considers if he can live without threesomes. You’ll benefit from the wisdom of an elder while being of service to someone in need of companionship. As a bonus, when Greg sees you two out and about on your intergenerational strolls, you’ll look extra young and hot next to your hunched-over octogenarian pal. Score!
Learn what’s really going on in the Middle East.
Let’s face it: You skim the headlines, but you don’t know the difference between Iraq and Iran, let alone Syria. This might be why Greg doesn’t know if he “believes in marriage.” Use your newly free evenings to read the news and really understand the key crises and what’s at stake in each. When you run into Greg and engage him in a thoughtful conversation about the civil war in Yemen, he’ll be smitten with your new worldly gravitas. For maximum effect, you should also get glasses. He will let you back into his life if you seem smart! (You can always ditch the glasses if he’s not into them).
Get into yoga.
Yoga is a proven stress reliever and a great way to get in touch with your spiritual side. It also gives you a reason to pass Greg’s house every day (there’s at least one yoga studio near everyone’s house these days) and hope he senses your aura of enlightenment. Plus, if all else fails, you can text him photos of yourself in little yoga outfits, demonstrating your newfound muscle tone and flexibility! He’ll get the hint and take you back before you find the inner strength to move on.
Above all, be sure to take this time for yourself. Do things you enjoy that will help you transform into the person you want to be. Which is, of course, the person Greg will never, ever break up with again.
