Between your career and dating, it can be impossible to find time to fit in a daily workout. But you don’t have to sacrifice your love life just to get a rockin’ bod! Instead, get your heart rate up with these five athletic sex moves, which satisfy both your libido and your need for an endorphin rush. The best part? Each of these exercises are all exponentially easier than bringing yourself to call him “Daddy” in bed, as he not-so-subtly keeps prompting you to do!
Get a killer core, chest and bicep workout with this fun, sexy move. The burning sensation you feel crawling through your body may tempt you to just flop down and lay there, like a lazy sex person. But remember: The Wheelbarrow pales in comparison to uttering, “Yes, Daddy, Yes!” to the guy your friends describe as, “Too short for me, I dunno, but you might like him!”
Hanging From Monkey Bars
When your man can’t grow the facial hair that connects his chin patch and sideburns yet still insists you call him “Daddy” just once, try this spicy move on for size. He’ll be so distracted by the monkey bars (where’d they come from?!) that he’ll forget about the whole Daddy thing. Heads up: Your arms will more than likely go numb before either of you can cum. Sexy!
Spice up this classic, borderline enjoyable form of oral sex by doing a handstand at the same time. While the blood rushes to your head, consider the time you almost called him “Daddy” but instead went with “Dowdy,” as in character actress Ann Dowd, which seemed to work for him anyway!
Just Holding a Plank While Getting Rammed
The blistering, white-hot pain your abs feel is only about a tenth of what you’d feel if the D-word every came from your lips. With your body so clamped up that sex doesn’t even seem like a viable option, just know that you could be calling him “Papi,” “Papa,” or anything “Daddy”-adjacent, and you’ll power through!
Bringing yourself to try out these sex moves intended only for endurance athletes can be tough, but we hope we put things into perspective for you. Just remember, mid-workout-fuck, that there’s always something more physically and emotionally crippling you can do: Giving him the sexual satisfaction of calling him “Daddy” mid-coitus. Have fun!