You deserve to get what you want in the bedroom — and for some people, having boring old missionary sex just won’t do the trick. If you’re feeling the pressure to perform acrobatic sex that you would never have to do if you just don’t ever leave your house tonight, here are some of the hottest sex positions that you can avoid entirely by not going anywhere!
The Pretzel
Just as the name suggests, this position involves weaving your limbs with your partner’s. To start, lay on your side as he straddles your bottom leg. Next, have him raise your top leg as he enters you. You can then wrap your leg around his torso. Or maybe you could just stay home? You could just not do any of this. You could lay completely flat and content in your own soft bed and not have to do anything. It’s up to you!
The Lotus
The Lotus is a well-known Kama Sutra position that is said to increase sexual pleasure for both parties. Have your guy sit cross-legged as you wrap your legs around his waist. Then do a series of painful balancing maneuvers while also trying to focus on the pleasures of your body and not focusing on the feeling that you’re squashing him. The important thing to remember here is that you absolutely do not have to do any of this tonight if you don’t go outside or respond to any of your ex’s texts. You could just not.
The Spider
This tricky move is practically exercise, which you have been avoiding all week, so why start now? Instead of the spider, try crab-walking over to your couch and spending the rest of the night comfortable and alone. Then there’s no mess to clean up—except the crumbs from your snacks that you won’t clean until next month. Now this is the height pleasure!
London Bridge
Have your man kneel in between your spread legs, then lift your hips all the way up to meet his, then have him penetrate you as your body forms a bridge as you rock back and forth. This position is essentially a circus act that you wouldn’t have to do if you were at home and hadn’t opened Tinder at 11:30pm. The only thing you should have to balance is the plate of cookies that’s sitting on your stomach. So go GET SOME, girl! Get some rest!
Next time you’re looking for a new sex position to spice things up, remember that you don’t have to. So just stay home and don’t do anything.
