These shoes are going to fucking wreck your feet. The faux leather straps are a hard, unforgiving plastic that’s guaranteed to cut into your skin. The footbed is devoid of padding and there’s a stiff seem that runs along your achilles tendon. These shoes are going to hurt ¬–– a lot! Your beautiful two-month-old niece couldn’t do that when she grabbed onto your index finger, but these shoes and their ridiculously unsupportive heel can! And sure, pain isn’t an emotion, but you do feel it. That’s something. Because if you’re in pain, guess what, girlfriend – you’re still alive, and you’re still human, no matter what the growing darkness inside you says. Thanks, shoes!