3D Print Yourself Some New Labia

As a woman, it’s natural to be born with imperfections, especially in the unpredictable folds of your nether regions. But thanks to new technologies and additive manufacturing, you can fix your flaws, simply and easily! Say goodbye to expensive surgeries and long recoveries—now you can 3D print yourself completely new labia! Here are some labial models to consider:


A Simple Labia Majora Mask

Not every pair of labia needs to be a showstopper. Sometimes you just need a simple update to spruce up the place. Thanks to the miraculous 3D printer, you can print a simple symmetric set of labia over your currently limp lips. The printing process is easy. Spread your legs, place your labia majora right under the hot end of the printer, and allow it to directly layer each part of the mask over your outdated lips. Voilà! Your man is not going to be able to keep his hands off your sleek new exterior.


Warm Apple Pie

Nothing tastes better than apple pie on a crisp autumn day, but the warm apple pie labia is a close second. Thanks to advances in scented and flavored plastics, this labium tastes and feels just like Grandma used to make! Your man won’t know the crust from the filling. Remember: In order to fully activate the scent, you’ll need to keep those labia warm, which unfortunately no longer comes naturally as they are not an actual part of your body. Submerge your labia in a warm bath before coitus. Also note that these labia will take much longer for your printing technician to print (five days) due to the set-time of scented plastics. Worth it!



The Labia Dentata

Looking to really spice things up in the bedroom? Or maybe your man is a masochist? We’ve got you covered. The labia dentata are beautifully splayed out with two sets of embedded teeth. This model is not for the faint of heart!


The Virgin Mary

This printed labium completely seals up your lips so that you can be a perfect virgin forever and no man is granted entry. If the forbidden really turns your guy on, these are the labia for you! Just be sure to take a steady diet of birth control with none of the placebo pills until you have these labia surgically removed, or this thing creates a real mess of a backup.


If you’re still not satisfied with these 3D selections, find a licensed vagina designer near you to create the perfect custom concept. With a simple upgrade, you won’t be disappointed in your vag anymore!