Handsome. Sophisticated. Valiant. The Prince Charming of your dreams is out there right now, riding on horseback, attending galas and falling short on the empty political promises that gave his subjects hope. Meet the four most eligible modern princes who will wine and dine you to your heart’s delight as they struggle to govern their inherited nation in decline:
Prince Seeiso of Lesotho
You could get used to sipping dark-roasted African coffee as the sun rises over the highlands with this spirited adventurer. Lesotho rests beneath the international poverty line, making coffee a rare and unaffordable import. What a special treat for just the two of you to share! Spend some time with this royal bachelor and he’ll steal your heart – hopefully it’s in good shape, because Lesotho boasts just one physician for every 100,000 citizens. Are the common folk getting a bit antsy about your lavish and loving lifestyle? In a 2006 survey estimated life expectancy for men and women was only 42 years old, so they won’t be bugging you for very long. Plus you’ll get to live in a real live castle!
Prince Salman bin Sultan bin Abdulaziz of Saudi Arabia
There is so much money to make up for what this handsome fox lacks in character and leadership! Dance cheek-to-veiled-cheek as you flip an unconcerned finger at condemnations from Amnesty International. While the country attracts strong criticism from human rights organizations, Salman’s devil-may-care attitude has proven effective in scaring away most meaningful progress and change within this wealthy, economically stratified country. Although it’s technically illegal for women to drive in the country, and there are no juries in Saudi courts, you’re royal now! You can do whatever the hell you want. Let your handsome Highness take you everywhere, as long as he is by your side and making all of your decisions.
Louis Alphonse of France
Though modern France recognizes a republic, the royal bloodline is culturally significant in this severely indebted, culturally tense, most romantic place on earth. Stroll together through the Louvre, and ignore the incendiary street art at Toulouse where the now famous graffiti “Hitler killed 6 million Jews and forgot half” still stands. He’s an educated socialite interested in the finer things. Discuss art, film, or books – but DON’T discuss domestic social policy! He literally has no idea what is happening in his own country.
It isn’t easy being handsome or born into royalty. But you have to give these hotties an “A” for effort – they still have the courage to live their lavish lives – and maybe you could be the next temporary mistress by their side!