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Faux Vintage Band Tees that Say, ‘History Has Been Really Good to People like Me’

4 Emojis to Wordlessly Respond with When The Conversation Spins Out of Your Control

5 Dish Towels With Bad Words For Moms Who Are Feeling A Little Wild But Not Fucking Crazy

Tartan Outfits To Rock When You’re Frothing For Haggis

5 Bold Red Lipsticks To Empower Your Front Tooth

5 Cute Cat Toys You Won’t Buy Because You Can’t Risk Her Loving Something More Than You

Clogs That Say, ‘I Have a Literary Tattoo, But Only My Live-In Boyfriend Will Ever See It’

6 Suede Dresses That Say ‘Sit on Me, I’m a Little Couch’

Cropped Pants That Will Have Everyone Saying, ‘Did She Hulk Out?’

4 Gorgeous Armchairs For You to Bump Into and Apologize to Over and Over Again

4 Sparkly NYE Dresses That Say ‘I Always Got the Lead in Chicago’

The 5 Best Eyeshadow Palettes To Use All Of One Shade From

Face Masks That’ll Get Your Pores So Tight He’ll Want to Stick His Dick in Them

5 Holiday Treats You Won’t Make Because You’re Eating Chocolate Chips Out of the Bag Again

5 Game of Thrones Gifts That Say, ‘My Boyfriend Really Likes ‘Game Of Thrones’

4 Seasonally Flavored Lip Glosses That You’ll Eat Despite Your Best Intentions

3 Knitting Patterns to Bring More Stress Into Your Life

3 Winter Sweaters to Keep Wearing Inside Because You Sweat Through the Shirt Underneath

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