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Party Actually Way More Fun With New Outfit

Woman’s Entire Workout Just Moves a Turtle Stuck on Its Back Would Do

Success! Majority of Woman’s Email Just an Apology for the Delay

Nice! New Anti-Aging Procedure Just Straight Up Transfers Your Consciousness to Anne Hathaway

Why I Stopped Focusing on the Negatives and Started Focusing on the Gay Incest in ‘The White Lotus’

Birthday Cake Enjoys Fulfilling Retirement as Breakfast

Woman Hopes Lightly Wiggling Drain Stopper Solves Clog That Goes 11 Inches Deep

Inspiring! This Woman Achieved an Old Career Goal and Felt Nothing

Audiobook Includes 20-Minute Introduction About How This Doesn’t Count as Real Reading

Scary! Younger Brother Is Someone’s Best Friend’s Annoying Boyfriend

Amazing! Woman Renews Passport so She Can Go to Hospital Overseas

Woman Has No Idea How People Endured Cooking Before Podcasts

Nice! Woman Spends Half Her Workday Authenticating Her Identity to Different Apps

Patriarchy Win! Man Who Never Once Wore Sunscreen Hottest at 65

Woman Only Flosses Once It’s Too Late

REPORT: Shacket Pulling Shoat Duty

Nice! Old Credit Card Debt Paid Off With New Sexier Credit Card

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