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Woman Looking Forward to Relaxing Holiday Break of Freezing to Death in Parents’ House

I LIVED IT: Spotify Wrapped Said I’m Already Dead

REPORT: Toes Always Cold

Woman Spending Weekend With Parents Reminded What Her Name Sounds Like Shouted Indoors

Heated Blanket Denied PTO Until Spring

Nation’s Horny Meteorologists Report It’s Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together With You

‘It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!’ Says Woman Totally Forgetting About Times It’s Warm

States Considering Social Media Ban for Minors and One Friend Each of Us Gets to Select

How to Enjoy His Company Even Though He Tastes Nothing Like Peppermint Bark

‘Women’s Bodies Are So Incredible,’ Says Friend Talking About Birth but Also Boobs

Woman Who Resists Daily Urge to Quit Job Resigns Herself to Loud Sighing at Desk Instead

Amazing! This Woman Asked a Question Without Degrading Herself Completely

Woman’s Holiday Break Schedule Resembles That of Elderly Cat

Crisis Averted! Successful Peer Is Two Years Older Than You

Woman Enjoying Casual Dating Until It’s Time for Multiple Mini Breakups Back to Back

QUIZ: Do You Have an iPhone Charger? Ah No, I Need the Other One

Woman Gets in Festive Mood by Pretending Pill Sorter Is Advent Calendar

Every Pedestrian Idiot When Woman Driving, Every Driver Maniac When Woman Walking

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