Author Archives for Tom Smyth

5 Sara Bareilles Songs That Will Make You Feel Like You’re Waiting for the CVS Employee to Come Unlock the Deodorant

The Cast of Friends Just Reunited to Fulfill a Blood Oath They Took to Kill Marcel the Monkey

Dog’s Dry-Ass Tongue Doesn’t Fit in Its Mouth

Woman Ignores To-Do List to Cast a Hypothetical ‘Wicked’ Movie Instead

Five Gorgeous Engagement Rings That Are Almost as Expensive as One Container of Cashews

Fuck! Attainable Crush Got Too Hot During Pandemic

Everybody Wants the Dolly Parton Vaccine, but What About the One by the Frontman of Train?

How to Romanticize Your Amazon Purchase by Picturing Frances McDormand in ‘Nomadland’ Boxing It

Wow! This Hero Dog is Able to Detect Cancer Using Only an MRI Machine

Our Generation’s Fran Lebowitz? This Woman’s Coat is Too Big

Oh No! Steve Kornacki Zoomed In Too Far On The Election Map and Showed Me Naked On My Couch to Everybody on MSNBC

wall mounted pull up bar

This Door Frame Pull-Up Bar is Perfect for Discovering You Can’t Do a Pull-Up

Why I’m Leaving New York (There’s a Fly in My Apartment and I Can’t Catch Him)

Mom Still Fucks With ‘I Hope You Dance’

I’m a Method Actor and My Method is Being Rude to the Cast and Crew

We Can Guess Your Zodiac Sign Based on Your ‘Gilmore Girls’ Opinions and if We’re Wrong We Will Shut Down Our Website, So Help Us God

BREAKING: My Slippery-Ass Glassware

BREAKING: Mom Wants to See Another Movie Told From Perspective of Dog