Author Archives for Tom Smyth

Fuck! Attainable Crush Got Too Hot During Pandemic

Everybody Wants the Dolly Parton Vaccine, but What About the One by the Frontman of Train?

How to Romanticize Your Amazon Purchase by Picturing Frances McDormand in ‘Nomadland’ Boxing It

Wow! This Hero Dog is Able to Detect Cancer Using Only an MRI Machine

Our Generation’s Fran Lebowitz? This Woman’s Coat is Too Big

Oh No! Steve Kornacki Zoomed In Too Far On The Election Map and Showed Me Naked On My Couch to Everybody on MSNBC

wall mounted pull up bar

This Door Frame Pull-Up Bar is Perfect for Discovering You Can’t Do a Pull-Up

Why I’m Leaving New York (There’s a Fly in My Apartment and I Can’t Catch Him)

Mom Still Fucks With ‘I Hope You Dance’

I’m a Method Actor and My Method is Being Rude to the Cast and Crew

We Can Guess Your Zodiac Sign Based on Your ‘Gilmore Girls’ Opinions and if We’re Wrong We Will Shut Down Our Website, So Help Us God

BREAKING: My Slippery-Ass Glassware

BREAKING: Mom Wants to See Another Movie Told From Perspective of Dog

QUIZ: Is Today the Day You Just Do It and Eat All Six English Muffins?