Author Archives for Tom Smyth

Wow! This Tortoise Is 150 Years Old, But His Girlfriend Is 28

This Woman Died Doing What She Loved, Getting Hit by Buses

Woman More Embarrassed by X-Ray Showing Nipple Piercings Than the Penny She Swallowed

This Woman Can Identify the Tractors in Her Captcha Because She Stuck with Jessica Simpson Through Her Country Era

This Woman Isn’t Productive, but Her Coughs Are

5 Sara Bareilles Songs That Will Make You Feel Like You’re Waiting for the CVS Employee to Come Unlock the Deodorant

The Cast of Friends Just Reunited to Fulfill a Blood Oath They Took to Kill Marcel the Monkey

Dog’s Dry-Ass Tongue Doesn’t Fit in Its Mouth

Woman Ignores To-Do List to Cast a Hypothetical ‘Wicked’ Movie Instead

Five Gorgeous Engagement Rings That Are Almost as Expensive as One Container of Cashews

Fuck! Attainable Crush Got Too Hot During Pandemic

Everybody Wants the Dolly Parton Vaccine, but What About the One by the Frontman of Train?

How to Romanticize Your Amazon Purchase by Picturing Frances McDormand in ‘Nomadland’ Boxing It

Wow! This Hero Dog is Able to Detect Cancer Using Only an MRI Machine

Our Generation’s Fran Lebowitz? This Woman’s Coat is Too Big

Oh No! Steve Kornacki Zoomed In Too Far On The Election Map and Showed Me Naked On My Couch to Everybody on MSNBC

This Door Frame Pull-Up Bar is Perfect for Discovering You Can’t Do a Pull-Up

Why I’m Leaving New York (There’s a Fly in My Apartment and I Can’t Catch Him)