Author Archives for Madeline Goetz

Trump Administration Announces Economy All in Your Head

Trump Pardons Turkey for Storming the Capitol

Woman Wearing Sweater Tied Around her Shoulders Even Though She Doesn’t Have a Bloodstain up There

‘I Was Born in the Wrong Era,’ Says Woman Who Just Waited Too Long to Start Watching Vanderpump Rules

dress-woman-party-alone-bored

Wow! Sister Stuns in Head-to-Toe Your Stuff

Boyfriend Stocks Up on Negative-Ply Toilet Paper

‘I’m Running Late!’ Says Woman Who Is Walking Late

Woman Wearing $300 Rugged Terrain Sneakers to Commute to Office Job

Boyfriend’s Best Underwear on Par With Worst Kitchen Rag

‘Tom Cruise Does His Own Stunts,’ Says Woman Hyping Herself Up to Make a Phone Call

‘No Is a Complete Sentence,’ Says Woman Who’s Still Gonna Give a Whole Speech Explaining Why

Seeds Already Being Sown for Family Thanksgiving Blowout Fight

Phew! Art Not AI, Just Authentically Ugly

Woman Who Lives in a Big City Nervous She’ll Still Somehow Cause a Forest Fire

Most of Woman’s Closet Purely Decorative

Woman Great at Keeping a Secret as Long as No One Asks Her About It

‘I Love Country Music!’ Says Woman Who Loves Songs About Murdering Your Husband

Woman’s Skin Looks Amazing Until It’s Time to Take a Picture

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