Author Archives for Kevin Burke

New Shoes Aren’t Cute Enough to Be Hurting This Much

I LIVED IT: Neck Hole Too Small

Materialistic Wench? Woman Needed New Shirt so She Bought New Shirt

Can-Do Attitude Not Enough for Piss-Poor Execution

Woman Who Waited Too Long to Do Laundry Forced to Wear Tux to Laundromat

Woman Unsure of Best Time to Actually Wear Robe

President Trump Announces Plan to Start Killing Teachers in Space Again

Cat Bonded to Only Other Cat They Know

Woman Who Brought Date Home Completely Forgot to Clean Affirmations Off Bathroom Mirror

Man Unable to Express Love in Words Hoping Picture of Penis Will Do the Trick

Self-Conscious Pizza Maker Can Only Playfully Toss Dough in Air When No One Looking

Vindictive Store Posts Security Photos of Shoppers Who Left Without Buying Anything

Cat Looking Out Backpack Window Like Astronaut Marveling at Great Unknown

Boyfriend Wondering if You Seen His Pile of Bullshit

Woman Who Just Wiped Down Every Square Inch of Apartment Enjoys 15 Seconds of Dust-Free Space

Extreme Sport? Pilates Instructor Just Said to Do 6 More Arm Circles

Sad! Woman’s Cheat Meal Still Includes Significant Amount of Cottage Cheese

Salutatorian Speech Offers Valuable Insight About How to Live Slightly Less Fulfilling Life

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