Author Archives for Jacob Nuckolls

How to Show Him You’re Excited He’s Home by Pissing on the Floor a Little

Employee of the Month? This Woman Cleaned Her Entire Apartment Without Going Inactive on Slack

Woman Optimizes Sleep by Avoiding Blue Light for Two Seconds Before Bed

How to Instantly Feel More Awake in the Morning by Being Late to Something

Free Market Win! Woman Doesn’t Make Enough in Capitalist Country to Move to a Socialist One

Modern-Day Tony Soprano? This Man Goes to Therapy but Keeps Becoming Worse

Task Abandoned After Woman Discovers a Phone Call Is Necessary to Complete It

Smart! Woman Deals With Tattoo Regret by Getting Another Tattoo

Woman Unsure if She Has a Low Sex Drive Because of Her Depression or Because of Her Antidepressants

Man Unaware That Not Believing in Astrology Is the Most Capricorn Thing He Could Do

Boss Begins Meeting With Some Light Crowd Work

Woman Debating Quitting Her Antidepressants Now That They’re Finally Working

Woman Takes Mental Health Day to Indulge in the Most Self-Destructive Behaviors She Knows

Cringe! A Story From the Old Testament Just Came up on God’s Facebook Memories

‘I’m Not Sure My Character Would Do That,’ Woman Explains to Her Boss Giving Her Work

Woman Logs Cheesecake Factory Menu on Goodreads

Modern Day Seinfeld? This Man Is Making Trite Observations That Aren’t Funny

Man Who Bragged About Rawdogging His Flight Now Pregnant With Boeing 747