Author Archives for Brandon Follick

Dolphins Are Among the Only Mammals That Mate for Pleasure, but Muppets Are the Only Ones Who Fuck to Get Ahead

Why I Stopped Sleeping With Men Who Don’t Have Luxury Fish Tanks

Meet the Pug Who Can Tell if You Will Overdraft Your Bank Account Today

Feminist Win! This Straight Jacket Has Pockets

Student Listens to Online Lecture Like It’s Some Little Podcast as She Takes Massive Bong Rips

This Woman Saved Money On Her Funeral By Getting Buried In Her Tote Bags

How Zoë Kravitz Inspired Me to Also Give One of My Reply Guys a Chance

Why We Need to Make More Space for Women Merging Onto the Highway

I LIVED IT: I Got Dumped Via QR Code

Are You Ready to Move in Together or Do You Still Need Time to Explain What Mid-Century Boho Is?

Wow! This Woman Walked Past a Mirror Being Thrown Away on the Street and Didn’t Take a Selfie

How to Dye Your Hair at Home Without Unpacking All Your Traumas

Ah Fuck: Person You’re Making Small Talk With Now Trying to Make Plans

Smithsonian Zoo Plans Prom in Hopes That Giant Pandas Enter Pact to Lose Virginity

Weird! This Woman Was So Enthusiastic During a Job Interview Until They Asked Her to Start Next Week

How to Accept Your Post-Pandemic Body by Going Outside and Announcing, ‘Come and Get It, Boys’

Why I Stopped Blogging and Started Driving Around Town Screaming Out My Window

‘Sorry, I Forgot How to Talk to Humans,’ Says Woman to Party Host’s Cactus

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