Several sources have reported that, during a recent lunch break from work, Baltimore resident Sherry Miller cobbled together a sad little meal exclusively with individual items from the Starbucks snack case.
“Maybe she was in a rush,” commented barista Joe Peterson, who witnessed the depressing scene. “Because she just started grabbing things with a complete disregard of if they were cohesive—a banana, two boiled eggs, some cake pops. I don’t even know if you could call it a meal.”
“Most of our snacks are meant to be a little treat or a quick bite,” Peterson added. “I don’t know what inspired this woman to combine them into this wretched excuse for a meal, but I hope she’s doing okay.”
Fellow customers looked on as Miller crafted her upsetting spread, which she gathered in her arms and dumped on the counter, seemingly unaware that she was making everyone around her a little bummed out.
“I felt bad for her,” customer Amanda Kim said after having watched Miller toss her haul into her purse. “She didn’t even ask for the croissant to be warmed. I can’t imagine settling for a meal that sad.”
“For a second I thought that maybe she was grabbing a bunch of individual snacks to bring back to her friends or something, but then she started nibbling on them on her way out the door,” the barista said. “Clearly this was not a lot of little snacks, but a single depressing meal for one very sad woman.”
“She also got a coffee, but didn’t even ask for a pump of caramel,” Kim added. “She must be in a bad place.”
As Miller walked out the door, sad little lunch in tow, everyone in the Starbucks breathed a sigh of relief knowing that they no longer had to witness the sad woman with her sad meal.
“Thank god, because that was hard to watch,” fellow customer Andrew Raikes said as Miller left the premises, taking a moment to appreciate his own, normal lunch. “Hopefully this was a one-time thing for her. Not to be super judgmental, but I honestly don’t know how anyone could bear such a pathetic lunch more than once.”
At press time, the meal had become even sadder when Miller decided to eat it alone on a park bench.