Why I’m Prepping for The Anniversary of Trump’s Victory by Rolling Myself Up in A Rug and Dying in There

November 8, 2016 was an incredibly solemn day for many of us. What we thought was the end to a nightmarish election was actually only the beginning of a nightmarish presidency. That’s why this upcoming November, on the anniversary of Trump’s election victory, I’ve decided to roll myself up inside a giant rug and then just kinda die in there.


I know it’s important to stand up and fight back, and I’m glad that there are women out there who want to make a change – but honestly, I’m ready for a break. Right now, I’m happy to just lie down on a rug, roll myself up in there like a burrito and then, you know, just kind of lay there until I die peacefully in my sleep. That’s my self-care.


I’m looking forward to ending this hellish year by resting peacefully inside a big rug, as it’s the only cap on this year that really feels appropriate. And though it might actually take years for death to actually take me in there, I will be happy and calm inside my cozy rolled up rug. The rug that I shall die in.


I’ve heard many women and allies saying that they plan on marching on the 8th. That they’re looking at this one-year anniversary as a chance to show the Trump administration that the resistance is as strong and ready as ever, and I support them all. I’m just more interested in showing everyone that I’m curled up inside a rug, waiting for the inevitability of death to finally take me. Everyone has their own way of resisting, and this is how I’m living my truth.


A lot of my friends have said things like, “Please don’t die inside a rug” and “Literally how is this helping” and “You’re dumb, honestly. This is dumb”. But they just don’t understand! I’m not like them! I’m not super political. I’m just a woman who would rather roll up inside a nice rug, put on my sleeping cap and die a slow, painful death than remember what happened last November.


It’s been a hard year for women, and I think all women deserve the opportunity to die inside a rug. So, goodbye everyone! Good luck with the rest of this unending hell. I’ll be inside my big ol’ rug.