Scientists at the University Of Santa Barbara have made a remarkable discovery suggesting that humans developed eyebrows because our hairline was supposed to go all the way down to there.
The scientific community is up in arms over this incredible insight.
“Early man needed to keep his forehead warm,” says Dr. David Bauer, a researcher on the project. “We’ve evolved in such a way that we can keep our forehead warm through other means, but originally our foreheads were very vulnerable.”
For decades scholars have questioned the biological purpose of eyebrows, two hair growths over the eyes that seem absolutely pointless. Behaviorists long assumed the eyebrows developed as a means to visually project emotion to others, or to sweep away moisture and bacteria. But they’re pretty much just leftovers of what was initially supposed to be an incredibly large hairline.
While this discovery might seem pointless to some, it might provide clues as to how we can reverse the process of hair loss.
“Balding men are positively salivating over this discovery,” says Bauer, who himself is experiencing hair loss. “The mere thought of a hairline that goes all the way down to there is enough to make their genitals explode.”
He added: “It’s just really promising stuff.”
While we may never conclusively know why we never got the mane originally promised to us, we do know one thing for sure: Our hairline was originally supposed to go down to there.