In a devastating story out of Chicago, IL following the results of the election, 29-year-old Kelly Vance admitted that she didn’t realize that the worst was truly yet to come.
Aww! How naive!
“I guess I just thought my worst days were behind me?” Kelly sheepishly admitted to reporters. “Like, I knew I’d still have my struggles, and my ups and downs, and all that, I guess I just didn’t realize I’d be having them under a fascist, theocratic president in a country where the majority of the population is racist, sexist, and homophobic.”
Umm, hello, girl! Time to wake up!
Kelly even said that she thought the general public’s position on climate change was turning, and that she thought people would band together to save the Earth.
Wow, that’s super depressing that she ever thought that!
“I just assumed that after years of hurt and hardship, there had to be some light at the end of the tunnel,” Kelly added. “I just felt like all these decades of hardship had to be leading to something good. Or at least something better than we have now.”
This isn’t a movie, babe!
At this point, Kelly had become visibly upset and needed to sit down for a minute and cry.
“It’s just…a lot…to take in,” she said in between sobs.
Faced with her tears, reporters felt compelled to admit that, in spite of her naivety, there was nothing inherently wrong with being optimistic for the future, and maybe Kelly’s outlook could be beneficial in the years to come.
However, as of press time, Kelly had brightened her spirits by coming to the conclusion that “maybe it just has to get worse before it gets better” and “we probably just need to wait it out.”
