‘It’s A Whole Thing,’ Says Woman Describing Either Minor Inconvenience Or Life-Changing Trauma

Over an intimate dinner with friends last Wednesday, Candace Washington was asked by multiple people why she has been so quiet on the group chat lately.


“Oh you know, it’s like a whole thing,” Candace replied, describing either a small inconvenience or a complicated family ordeal, for all we know. “Like, a whoooooole thing.”


When friends pressed her for more information, she responded: “It’s complicated.”


Whether she is talking about a slightly annoying thing that happened at work or a years-long traumatic episode in her life ending in a sudden and heartbreaking death in the family is yet to be determined.


Friends are unclear of the appropriate reaction to this.


“Do we give her a hug and let her cry if she wants to, or is that like, a comedic level of overkill?” says friend Jamie Pierson. “Should we send her flowers on Monday just in case?”


“I wish she could give us a number on a scale of severity, like from one to ten,” added friend Danny Sofimarko. “Just so we know if this needs to be, like, a big bouquet?”



“I’m just really hoping this is a complicated work thing that is too boring to explain,” added Jamie.


When asked for a little more detail, Candace said, “Ugh, it’s a long story,” before ominously or nonchalantly changing the subject.