It’s pretty universal that everyone dreads watching a sex scene with their family. It’s basically gonna be uncomfortable no matter what, but when I was watching an R-rated movie with my sister and parents last night, I simply rubbed my eye, and now everyone thinks that blowjobs make me cry.
My main concern was always to make sure it doesn’t seem like I’m getting turned on by what’s happening. I never would’ve thought that I had to make sure I appeared emotionally stable, to boot.
Right after I scratched my eye, my sister who was sitting next to me thought I was somehow deeply touched by stimulated fellatio and she whispered to me, “I know you still miss your ex a lot, but trust me, you’re way better off.”
I immediately told her that it wasn’t about that, but then my mom overheard our conversation and asked me if I needed a tissue, saying, “Aw, sweetie, if I knew it would make you this upset, I would’ve suggested we watched something else.”
Then, my dad paused the movie and asked me what was wrong. My family was so concerned about my supposed tears that they all took the time to “check in” with me, since I was “so obviously not okay with what just happened,” and none of them believed that I was just rubbing my eye because it happened to be itching right at that moment!
My mom even went ahead and called her therapist to see if she could squeeze me in for an extra appointment and told me not to worry because she’s “sex positive”.
I’m never watching anything above a PG rating with my family, or anyone else, ever again.
Anyway, gonna go curl up with some popcorn and watch Requiem for a Dream for some much-needed laughter.
