How Trump Inspired Me to Drain My Cyst

Like many young women in this country, I have been living with a large epidermoid cyst on my back for several years. I’ve let it take up space and slowly drain my energy, my will to date, and my ability to make friends. But then I woke up on November 9th bolstered by the refrain of “Drain the Swamp” and “Make America Great Again” and I was finally inspired to drain my cyst.


America is great again after all!


There’s nothing like new leadership to make you take stock of the things you care about. I was so INSPIRED by the potential of losing my health insurance that it had me running to the doctor to drain the enormous lump on my back. And while at the doctor I realized that I had truly been bolstered by our president elect. He was responsible for so much of the positive steps that lead me to draining the cyst.


When Trump announced he was running for President last year many people laughed him off, called him a joke, and said it could never happen. But I wasn’t so dismissive – in fact his campaign made me realize I could potentially be considered a legitimately “nasty woman”, mostly because of my cyst! When he talked about banning Muslims from the country, I tried banning irritating creams that could inflame my lump. When he started lashing out at people on Twitter, I started lashing out at my back with an X-Acto knife. His hateful rhetoric finally started me down the path that ultimately lead me to decide to drain my abscess.



And, now that he has won the election, not only am I not upset – I’m getting active and finally taking charge of what I need to get done! I will go to the grocery store, I will call my senator, I will stock up on birth control; I will get my back-pustule lanced! And you can, too. I want all of you out there to calm down and think about the ways you can be inspired by a Trump presidency. What steps can you take? What infected goiters can YOU drain?


I personally have chosen to look at his presidency in a positive light. That’s why his “antics” don’t make me cringe so much as they make me start gathering medical supplies in case the end of days comes and I’m still packing my cyst wound.