How to Get Your Non-Vegan Friends to Stop Texting You Every Time They Eat a Chickpea

Going vegan is an amazing way to help the environment and fight against factory farming of animals – but as we all know, if you’re not vegan, it is nearly impossible not to let your vegetarian and vegan friends know every time you’ve eaten a singular plant-based food. So if your meat-eating friends have been blowing up the group chat or terrorizing you personally with their daily food intake, here’s how to get them to stop texting you every time they eat a chickpea or something like that:


Don’t respond enthusiastically.

Responding enthusiastically to meat-eaters lying to themselves in this context is always a bad idea – try to respond with something neutral, like “oh cool” or “nice”. Make sure to avoid exclamation points or anything that would suggest you want to hear more about the hummus they just made because it’s “so much easier to make yourself.” This will help them slowly realize that you do not care and that it is not a major accomplishment on their part. But remember to be kind ­– they can’t help it!



Suggest a weekly check-in to avoid one-off texts about a piece of broccoli.

Responding to each and every text about a random piece of broccoli they roasted or a “really yummy avocado” can be time-consuming and stressful. Encourage your friend to make a list of everything they ate this week so you can have a weekly check-in where they can download you on everything they ate that wasn’t meat at once. Set a time limit for it so that they know your boundaries. It is illegal to eat non-meat in some states (especially in the Midwest), so give them a clear window where they can get it off their chest!


Request a handwritten letter sent by mail.

If you’re receiving tens of emails and texts a day about how to prepare tofu, don’t get overwhelmed – just set an auto-response with something like, “Sorry, I’m no longer accepting digital messaging regarding plant-based foods. Please mail a letter directly to [Your Address or Maybe The Address of a Best Buy] and I will respond accordingly.” This will force them to really think about what they want to write, which will decrease the chance of them writing it and dramatically reduce the chance of you reading it. Problem solved!


Remind them that you haven’t eaten an animal product in 11 years.

They will get very quiet!


Again, moderating your friend’s thousands of texts about trying a lentil chip can be exhausting, but just remember that you are allowed to set boundaries for yourself while remaining encouraging to your annoying friend. Stay strong, and remember that honey is still technically an animal product!