How To Forgive Yourself For That Unforgivable Thing You Did

When it comes to who you’re the hardest on, it’s usually yourself. Especially when you’ve done something so bad, so unspeakable, you’re still haunted by the sounds and smells of that fateful day. But hey, the past is the past! You deserve to forgive yourself and move forward from that completely unforgivable thing you did. These steps to self-forgiveness will allow you to live your life without being distracted by the fact that you are most certainly going to Hell:


1.Let Yourself Feel Sorry For Destroying Carla’s Marriage For A Moment, But Not Forever

Yes, you messed up! You’re human. Is Carla’s life permanently tormented by your adulterous actions? Absolutely. Is your life changed forever? It doesn’t have to be. Here’s the thing: Carla was the one who lost her marriage, not you. Create the space to say “I’m sorry” – not to Carla, but to yourself. You didn’t deserve all that self-flagellation over a few years of flagrant adultery. Let it go and move on. Tomorrow’s a new day full of new possibilities!


2. Realize You Tried Your Hardest Not to Crash That Boat

Could you have controlled your impulse to watch porn while piloting that cruise liner? Maybe. But did you try your darndest not to? You sure did! Failing isn’t truly failing unless you didn’t try. And you tried! There were survivors, right?


3. Make Yourself Look and Feel Better After That Choreographed Murder

Unlike some people, you are alive, girl! So live a little! Go get that scarf you’ve been eyeing for weeks – after all, you still need to replace the one you used to strangle that former business partner. Or get a totally new haircut! You should probably change your appearance in some way, in case that lackey you paid off ever goes squealing to the feds. Or just take a long bubble bath, where you can scrub off the horror and violence that has now forever tainted your skin. You’ll feel more confident once you spruce yourself up. So cheer up! It’s not like you’re the one who got whacked!



4. Let Go Of Outside Criticism From That Angry Mob

You are your own captain: No one else can tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Not even a mob of angry townspeople that has been trying to break into your apartment since they discovered your company knowingly dumped heavy metals in their community, giving them all a rare form of cancer. They might say negative things like, “Your company needs to invest time and money into righting this wrong,” or even, “You’re a monster!” but you are the only one who knows what is right for you. Ask yourself: “What do I have to gain from helping this small mining village recover?” You’re your own boss!


5. Have Something To Look Forward To Besides Your Child’s Memorial

Don’t dwell on the horrific past where you ran over your own kid; get excited for tomorrow! Is there a trip you always wanted to take? Plan it! Go somewhere that’s open-minded about the phrase “former mom.” Is there a project you’ve always wanted to do get off your plate? Do it (just make sure you can do it alone, because, you know, people revile you). Make a fun plan you can get excited about. Who knows? Maybe you’ll feel good enough to drive that SUV again!


You deserve to carry on! So stop feeling bad, and start being yourself again! Well, maybe not entirely yourself, but the parts of yourself that aren’t odious!