Quantcast
Reductress
  • News
  • Living
  • Entertainment
  • Love and Sex
  • Womanspiration
  • Print Edition
  • Thoughts
  • Style

  • Podcasts
  • Shop
  • Events
  • Satire Workshops
Reductress

Women's News. Feminized.

  • Podcasts
  • Shop
  • Events
  • Satire Workshops

Help! I Dropped My Phone In The Toilet And Now Every Fucking Sewer Rat Has My Digits

Print Edition -  Oct 4, 2017  By: Rachel Wenitsky 
  • Tweet

You've reached the Print Edition. The headline is the whole joke.

Subscribe to Coil for $5/month and get ad-free access to The Hard Times and more.

click to learn more >

SHARE:

iPhoneBooty CallSewer Rat
This Is The Type Of Woman He’ll Fall In Love With According To His Sign And Also His Ex’s Instagram How to Just Fuck Your Phone Already!

SHOP REDUCTRESS:

  • "Gay for Hockey" Crewneck Sweatshirt
  • "Gentle Parenting" Unisex Tee
  • "Gay for Women's Basketball" Unisex Tee
  • "More of A Weed Person" Can Cooler Sleeve
  • "I HAVE SENSORY ISSUES" Crewneck Sweatshirt
  • "Calling My Representative Wasn't Enough, so I F*cked His Wife" Unisex Tee
  • "Fuck The Sun" Dad Hat
  • "Don't Talk to Me Until I've Had My Abortion" Black Mug
  • "Eldest Daughter" Unisex Tee

POPULAR:

  • Texas Allows Abortions for Pregnancies That Pose Risk to Career of Father

  • You’re Gonna Shit Your Pants and Kill Your Roommate When You See What These Child Stars Look Like Now

  • 30 Under 30? This Woman Ate 30 Hotdogs in Half an Hour

  • Gynecologist Office Weirdly Has No Pictures of Fruit Cut in Half

  • Woman Marks 10-Year Anniversary at Entry Level Job

  • Nice! Friend Remembering to Pay You Back for a Coffee Prevents Account Overdraft

  • ABOUT US
  • CONTACT
  • PARTNER WITH US
  • CAREERS
  • COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES
  • SHOP REDUCTRESS
  • PRIVACY POLICY

Read More:

  • News
  • Living
  • Entertainment
  • Style
  • Love & Sex
  • Thoughts
  • Womanspiration
  • From the Print Edition
  • R Network

Follow Us:

  • Facebook
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram
  • Youtube

Sign Up For Our Newsletter...

Copyright 2026 Reductress.

×
WE'RE DESPERATE FOR YOUR APPROVAL.
FACEBOOK
TWITTER Follow @reductress
FOLLOW REDUCTRESS TODAY.