76-year-old Maureen Cuomo recently took her 23-year-old granddaughter, Ashley, out for a spa day and shopping spree this week, with the sole purpose of reminding her own daughter, Christine, that she is not worth such lavish gifts and attention.
“Look at how beautiful my granddaughter is!” Maureen told reporters. “She is naturally slim and really takes care of herself by wearing perfectly applied makeup every day. She gets it from me!”
“Ashley actually cares about her appearance and isn’t an embarrassment to be seen in public with,” Maureen went on. “That kind of effort should be rewarded with warmth and affection!”
Following the spa day and shopping spree, the Cuomo matriarch took Ashley out for dinner, dessert, and champagne.
To show her gratitude, Ashley Instagrammed the entire day, a gesture Maureen greatly appreciated.
“I love that all of Ashley’s friends will be able to see how beauty is passed down in a family,” Maureen said. “Especially when it skips a generation.”
Christine often works 80 hours a week to support her mother and daughter, both of whom live in her home. When pressed for comment, Christine Cuomo sighs, “I don’t really have time for a spa day anyway.”
“I wish my daughter would get a job,” she adds. “But she’s too busy going to the opera with my mother.”
“She would say that,” Maureen told reporters of her daughter. “Always obsessed with work. She doesn’t care about me. She gets that from her father.”
Last spring, due to her harrowing work schedule and the responsibility of being a mother while also caring for an aging parent, Christine had a brief hospital stay due to dehydration, stress, and exhaustion.
“Or so she convinced the doctors, when it was clearly a cry for attention,” the Cuomo matriarch explains. “She was hogging the limelight so much, I had to go around announcing to people that I was using a new wrinkle cream and had lost ten pounds! It was humiliating.”
“Sometimes I’m just ashamed that I raised such a selfish, ugly daughter,” Maureen sighs loudly, before whispering, “She hates when I say that!”
In the time since originally being interviewed, Maureen has surprised her granddaughter with a two tickets to Hawaii, because, “Being young is hard and that poor, beautiful girl needs a break.”
At press time, Ashley was seen mouthing the word, “help”.