A representative of GLAAD – a non-profit LGBTQ advocacy organization focused on fair representation of the queer community in media – has announced that, while the organization denounces homophobia of all kinds, it’s actually super okay to think the name “Gaylord” is funny.
Rejoice! Culture is back!
“We recognize that the name Gaylord comes from the Old French ‘gaillard’ meaning ‘joyful’ or ‘high-spirited,’” said GLAAD representative Ian Ryers, “but in English, it kind of sounds like someone who is Head Gay. Gay Supreme. Homosexual Aristocracy. And we at GLAAD recognize that’s super funny.”
Sources confirm the name was especially popular in the 19th and 20th centuries, and it’s been literally so funny the whole time.
“Unfortunately, the name Gaylord can be easily broken into two words: gay and lord,” said local teacher Phaedra Meeks. “Why anyone would choose to put these two words together or, even worse, name a child this and then send them to school with other children is beyond me.”
While the name is somewhat rare, popular Gaylords include Santana’s drummer Gaylord Birch, Pulitzer-prize winning journalist Gaylord Dewayne Shaw, and American crime writer Gaylord Larsen. According to the queer community, however, popular Gaylords include Lady Gaga, Madonna, Laura Dern, and any frail-looking bird that walks in a cunty fashion, serving endless looks along the way.
“We recognize that everyone is trying to ‘be good’ about this sort of stuff, but we assure you Gaylords are not a protected class,” Ian, the GLAAD representative, continued. “In fact, this is the type of thing we hope will build bridges between the queer and straight communities. We hope every queer child can sit down with their family and share a laugh about how dumb the name Gaylord is.”
Addressing those who take issue with this, Ian said, “sucks to suck, Gaylord,” using the name an extra time in a malicious manner.
In response, Gaylords have created their own nonprofit advocacy organization, the Gaylord Organization for the Obliteration of Bullying (GOOB). Unfortunately, this acronym is also super funny and isn’t doing much for the cause, as it’s already trending on Twitter.
As a final note, GLAAD sent out another memo clarifying that one should not confuse Gaylords with Gaylors, the group of people who think Taylor Swift is secretly gay. While it’s okay to think the name Gaylord is funny, being a Gaylor is unforgivable.
