How to Have Your Dream Wedding Vicariously Through a Friend

Vicarious Wedding

Every girl dreams of her wedding day, but as we get older, the realities of planning your dream wedding can be daunting. Concerns pop up, like, “Will anyone ever truly love me?” or “How much money are my parents willing to spend on a butterfly garden?” In the face of these doubts, manipulating your engaged friends into throwing your dream wedding can be the safest, most cost-effective way to celebrate your big day, without all the hard work and commitment of actually getting married.

Step 1: Pick the Right Friend

This is crucial. You’re going to want to find a friend who is passive enough to sit back while you plan her wedding, and rich enough to finance your fantasy. Girls with sisters or protective BFFs are a no-go. Friends with rich dads and little to no positive female influences in their life are the best candidates.

Step 2: Plant the Seeds Early

As soon as your friend announces her wedding, you’re going to want to start conditioning her against her own tastes in favor of your own. Try screaming in her ear when she mentions burgundy bridesmaid’s dresses, while fawning aggressively whenever she brings up that adorable mint invitation set.


Step 3: Go to the Dress Store Ahead of Time

The dress is the most important part of the wedding, and making sure that your friend buys the dress of your dreams is crucial to living vicariously through her big day. Get to the store ahead of time and try on their entire stock. Pick the dress you like the best and tell her she looks fat in every other option. That way she’ll only have one choice – the right choice.

Step 4: Develop an Allergy

The menu can make or break a wedding, and making sure that your friend serves exactly the cuisine you desire is necessary in making your night extra special. Luckily, you just found out that you’re deathly allergic to chicken Parmesan and can only stand to be around lightly seared salmon.

Step 5: Remember, it’s Your Special Day

Through all the hustle and bustle of the big day, it’s important that you don’t lose sight of who the day is really about. Don’t let your friend distract you with trivial concerns about how the wedding plans are straining her relationship with her fiancé. This day is about the relationship between you and your dream wedding, and there is no more sacred a bond than that.