5 Hats To Feel Self-Conscious About All Night

It’s Friday night, and you and your friends are getting ready for a night on the town. As you put together your outfit for your night of clubbing and dancing, you’ve absolutely got to consider wearing a hat. From wide brims to beanies, these five hats will have you nervously fussing with them all night, wondering if they’re a bit too much for the occasion.


Floppy Wide Brim


If you’re looking for a stylish hat that you can really feel weird about, look no further than a floppy wide brim! Whether you’re enjoying cocktails with your girlfriends or tearing up the dance floor, this hat will never be far from the front of your consciousness. The wide brim is perfect for constant adjustments and fidgeting. Put this little number on your head and get ready for a night of fervently wishing you had just left it in the closet.


Slouchy Beanie


Wearing a slouchy beanie to the club is a guaranteed way to project a casual, aloof demeanor. That aloofness will come in handy as you try to offset the inner paranoia and discomfort you’re sure to be feeling. Is this hat working?! Everyone who approaches you will be thinking either “She’s so hip,” or “What a weird thing for her to wear to a club”. There’s no way to know which one they’re thinking, but that won’t stop you from obsessing over it all night.


High Crown Felt Panama Hat


The high crown felt Panama hat is the perfect accessory to forever be uncomfortably aware of all day long. With its chic aura and classy aesthetic, you’ll waffle back and forth between feeling like an elegant Hollywood starlet and a cheap, Hollywood Boulevard Carmen Sandiego impersonator. But don’t take it off: your hair looks super weird underneath.



Linen Cloche Hat


Poise. Elegance. Class. That’s what the linen cloche hat exudes, no matter how much your face is fucking it up. As you stroll into each bar, you’ll hope and pray the formalness of the establishment calls for such a pronounced fashion choice, although it inevitably never will. Wearing this hat, you’ll feel just like Daisy from The Great Gatsby, assuming Daisy also suffered from frequent bouts of anxiety and constantly second-guessed her own decisions. We’re pretty sure she did!


Newsboy Cap


If you’re feeling particularly bold while still in the safe confines of your apartment, slap on a checkered newsboy cap and hit the streets! Though it looked so quirky and fun in your mirror at home, catching glimpses of yourself in the reflections of car windows is sure to make you cast a dark cloud of doubt over your own judgment. One friend jokingly shouting “Extra, extra, read all about it!” is all it will take to send you careening over the edge of self-confidence!


Choosing any one of these fabulous, fashionable hats is a surefire way to make you stand out in a crowd, but probably in a way you weren’t hoping for. Next time you’re hitting the town on a Friday night, consider wearing one of these hats if you’re in the mood to overthink everything and not have any fun.