5 Fall Outfits That Say, ‘I Haven’t Shaved Since the Last Full Moon’

As the weather gets colder, it can feel tough to find looks that are both fabulous and forgiving. After all, it’s nigh on winter, and your shaving days are over until March. These ensembles, along with the knowledge of your overgrown and slightly curling leg hair, will keep you hot in both meanings of the word. Here’s how to let everyone know it’s been roughly a month since you de-furred:


  1. Cable Knit Sweater and Patched-Up Skinny Jeans

This cozy classic is a great way to show that you love to emphasize patches other than those of hair covering your legs. The cable knit is a comfy and cute way to show your affinity for understated patterns, and the farmer-chic jeans say that you only harvest your crops on rare occasions.



  1. Vintage Dress and Brightly Colored Opaque Tights

Nothing is cuter than vintage! Well, nothing except how fuzzy your legs look because of all of the cute little leg hair poking through your thick and vibrant tights. This ensemble will make you look like Zooey Deschanel—if Zooey Deschanel had Muppet legs.


  1. Military Jacket, Long Skirt, and Thigh-High Boots

With the sexy mystery of your thigh-high boots, you’ll have everyone wondering what your legs are hiding. Surprise: It’s more hair than you could even imagine! Plus, the military jacket really emphasizes the rugged look and the invisibility of your coarse, hairy legs will really tie the ensemble together.


  1. A Black Hooded Floor-Skimming Robe

Black is the new black, and getting deep lacerations from your own leg hair is the new normal! Drape yourself from head to toe in this classy and chic pagan garb to hide your body hair and show everyone that the only thing you love more than your look is the lunar calendar and its undeniable connection to your personal hygiene.



  1. A Cute, Chunky Scarf and Absolutely Nothing Else

This outfit is perfect for cozying up in a coffee shop with your maple latte, a good book, your indiscretion, and your abundant body hair. As a cute and sexy combo of public nudity, obvious head to toe stubble, and classy accessorizing, this outfit screams, “The moon may be waxing, but I sure as hell am not.”


With looks as clean and fresh as all of these, your body doesn’t have to be! After all, shaving is so last moon cycle.