Embroidered Lacina Curtain (starting at $158.00, Anthropologie)
Invest in these elegant curtains for the very reasonable price of always feeling like you’re being
watched. Never again will you have the freedom to simply kick back, relax, and eat an entire bag
of Doritos in the middle of the day without fear of being judged or even recorded. It’s probably for the best anyway, because these curtains seem like they’d be a bitch to clean, and if you get Dorito dust on them then that’s a whole other thing you have to worry about.