Author Archives for Kevin Burke

Person on LinkedIn Wondering if You Could Fix Their Whole Life for Them

University Working Hard to Ensure Columbia Will Never Be Known as a Safety School

‘You Know Who You Look Like?’ Says Soon-to-Be Enemy

Embarrassing! Woman Thinks Her Dreams Will Come True With a Little Hard Work

Woman Knows She Could Just Fuck Up a Spelling Bee Right Now

Kim Kardashian Releases Diss Swimwear Collection in Response to Taylor Swift’s New Song

Oh No! Book You Wanted to Read Has Cover With Ugly Font

Dormant Finsta From 2015 Now a Relic of a Bygone Era When Woman Was Fun

Woman Goes Blind After Looking Boss Directly in the Eyes for Too Long

Woman Can’t Believe How Young and Foolish She Used to Be Six Months Ago

Roommate Leaves Entire Hair Extension on Wall of Shower

Woman Just Wants Somebody Who Has All the Same Opinions About Movies

Couple With Twelve Baby Name Books Settles on ‘John’

‘This Is Just Like The Sopranos,’ Says Woman After Going to Therapy and Also Committing Crimes

The Grammys Announce Taylor Swift’s Next Album Already Winner of 2025 Album of the Year

Woman Just Happy for the Opportunity to Partake in Company’s Dehumanizing Interview Process

‘Let’s Make a Pros and Cons List,’ Says Parent About Thing You Already Said ‘No’ To