Author Archives for Kevin Burke

Vindictive Store Posts Security Photos of Shoppers Who Left Without Buying Anything

Cat Looking Out Backpack Window Like Astronaut Marveling at Great Unknown

Boyfriend Wondering if You Seen His Pile of Bullshit

Woman Who Just Wiped Down Every Square Inch of Apartment Enjoys 15 Seconds of Dust-Free Space

Extreme Sport? Pilates Instructor Just Said to Do 6 More Arm Circles

Sad! Woman’s Cheat Meal Still Includes Significant Amount of Cottage Cheese

Salutatorian Speech Offers Valuable Insight About How to Live Slightly Less Fulfilling Life

Ominous Apple Watch Feature Shows How Many Steps User Has Left

Woman Hopes Fake Plant Will Add to Home’s Phony Aesthetic

God Reveals New Pope Should Ideally Be Someone They Comfortable Just Hanging Out With

Audiobook Includes 20-Minute Introduction About How This Doesn’t Count as Real Reading

Amazing! Woman Renews Passport so She Can Go to Hospital Overseas

beer-reductress

Woman Plans Quaint, Intimate St. Patrick’s Day Getting Drunk Off Ass Alone

How to Stand Up for Yourself Even When Adrien Brody Tells You to Stop Playing the Music

Woke Library Targeting Young Children With Shameless ‘Reading’ Campaign

Woman Flubs Begging Portion of Job Interview

New Haircut Puts Woman Back on Track to Achieve All Her Dreams

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