Author Archives for Jessica Lillian

Woman Shocked to Realize She’ll Be Late Again Despite Adding Whole Two-Minute Buffer

Why I Stopped Doing Laundry and Just Hired a TV Crew to Put Censor Bars on Me

Friend Who Booked Airbnb Group Reservation Becoming Too Powerful

Entire Therapy Session Spent Silently Debating Whether to Compliment Therapist’s New Haircut

Woman Downloading New Dating App Excited for Same Batch of Men in Slightly Different Format

Why I Stopped Exfoliating My Feet and Started Hardening Them Into Weapons

How to Get Your Rich Friend to Worry About Climate Change by Talking About Skiing

‘Eldest Daughter’ Finally Added as Official Diagnosis in DSM-V

Phew! Friend Who Added Laughing Emoji to Crisis Texts Probably Fine

12-Foot Home Depot Skeleton Repurposed Into Big Scary Santa

Goals! This Woman’s Anti-Aging Skincare Is So Good She Can Order Off the Kids’ Menu

Weird! Friend Says Her Aesthetic Is Just Wearing What She Likes

‘Cooking Your Own Meals at Home Is So Rewarding,’ Says Woman Placing Frozen Trader Joe’s Burrito in Microwave

Genius! This Woman Enrolled Herself in Doggie Day Care

How to Finally Reach Inbox Zero by Getting Fired

Woman Preserves Her Unpaid Medical Bills Like Correspondence From an 18th Century Lover

‘You May Feel a Little Pinch,’ Says Gynecologist Revving Industrial Chainsaw