Author Archives for Carsen Smith

I LIVED IT: My ‘Thumbs Up’ Reaction Didn’t End the Text Conversation

Woman Who Didn’t Break a Sweat Making Big Show of Wiping Down Gym Equipment

Woman Embarks on Ceremonial Switching of A/C From Cool to Heat

NYE Dress Requires Nipple Pasties Shape Not Yet Invented by Mankind

Uh Oh! Hairdresser’s Hair Sucks

Grandpa Holding Firm in Belief That Only One Gender Exists

Zit Thankful for Delicious Meal of Concealer

‘Is There a Doctor On This Plane?!’ Asks Woman Trying to Fuck a Doctor

Awkward! These Astronauts All Wore the Same Outfit to the Launch

How to Remove Acrylic Nails by Chopping Off Your Fingers

Why I’m Freezing My Eggs Inside the Eye Sockets of a Spongebob Popsicle

Woman Buys Vitamin to Absorb Vitamin to Help Absorb Other Vitamin

Stop Snooping Through Your Partner’s Phone and Start Following Them With a Big Floppy Boom Mic

Sad! These Squat Proof Leggings Aren’t Shit Proof

This One Line on Your Palm Will Tell if You’ve Been in a Horrible Meat Grinding Accident

Whoa! You’re Now the Same Age Your Mother Was When She Was Your Age

How to Get the Perfect Cat Eye by Slitting Your Pupils

Hawk Who Snagged Chihuahua Worried He Works Too Much To Care For It