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Author Archives for Abe Messing
Goals! Situationship Becomes Situation-Marriage
Woman Very Secure in Negative Self-Image of Herself
Woman Too Lazy to Use Machine That Does Dishes For You
Body Creaks and Groans Like Ship’s Hull as Woman Slightly Adjusts Posture
Person Claiming They Don’t Get Anxiety Not So Chill When You Start Counting Down From 10
4 Kegel Exercises That’ll Make It so You Never Need Help Opening a Jar Again
Woman Forgoes Buying Product on Amazon in Favor of Supporting Local Target
Dog Who Interrupts Owner Having Sex Gives Supportive Wink Before Leaving Room
Story Massively Reconstructed to Gain Sympathy Still Not Getting Anyone on Woman’s Side
CVS Obviously Only Selling Consumer Goods as Front for Drug Operation
Double Feature! How to See ‘Barbie’ at 6:00pm Then See ‘Barbie’ at 9:00pm
Hairless Cat Coughs Up Skinball
Yes! Waterslide Has Extra 10 Feet of Tube for Putting Your Bathing Suit Back On
Picture Posted to Boost Self-Esteem Backfires
Traumatic Experience Really Taking Its Sweet Time Turning Into Art
Finally! This Dating App Notifies You If Strangers Think You’re Hot and That’s It
Folded Laundry Deserves Nice Pat
Cool Baby Drinking From Bottle With Pierced Nipple Cover
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